A Day in the Life of Chad-GPT
The sun was still a bashful hint on the horizon when Chad-GPT, Silicon Valley’s self-anointed Tech Bro extraordinaire, woke up at 4:32 am. His precision-crafted, $10,000 sleep tracker determines the optimal moment in his REM cycle to stir him from sleep, thereby maximizing his cognitive function for the day.
Flinging the astronaut-grade, thermal-regulating sheets off his body, Chad-GPT vaults straight into a cold shower while scrubbing Lion’s Mane on his nuts.
It was a strange practice, but he had adopted it after unknowingly watching a 60 second deep fake of Andrew Huberman advocate it on Tiktok. As the icy water hit his skin, he grits through by congratulating himself on adding another three minutes to his life expectancy.
By 5:05 am, Chad-GPT was seated in front of his six-monitor setup and ready to conquer the world. He munches absent-mindedly on his breakfast — a bowl of Soylent-infused quinoa topped with bee pollen extract, a diet he had crafted after extensive genetic and gut microbiome testing.
Between bites, he listens to the “My First Million” podcast, jotting down ideas for new businesses. Chad-GPT wasn’t such a bad business person himself. His latest venture was a D2C subscription-based service that delivered biodegradable, avocado-based dental floss to your doorstep.
Chad-GPT’s mind was already racing towards his next breakthrough though — an AI platform to catch the attention of influential figures. With a laughably modest fee of $50,000, his AI platform could strategically thrust your face into Jeff Bezos’ line of sight for a whole two seconds. And for those with deeper pockets, the AI might even arrange a serendipitous real-life encounter. Fame, after all, is just an algorithm away.
At 6:00 am, he begins the sacred ritual of productivity hacking. Armed with a battery of tools ranging from time-boxing apps, Kanban boards, and dopamine fasting, he maps out his day in 15-minute increments.
His AI-powered chair, integrated with his smart home system, was the command center in this ballet of efficiency. Geo-mapped to his calendar with fine-tuned ergonomics for optimal comfort and posture, if Chad-GPT’s attention wanes, it would gently, yet firmly, secure him in place, ensuring his undivided focus was maintained until his to-do list was finished.
His actual work began at 6:30 am. Or rather, the work he outsources to a team in the Philippines. He spends a grand total of seven minutes on a Zoom call, passionately discussing how they could employ AI to disrupt their own operation. He dreamed of a future where they could leverage ChatGPT to automate most of their jobs with RHLF, thereby reducing their average operating cost per hour from $7 to an impressively lean $5.50.
Once business tasks are handled, Chad-GPT turns his attention to his physical well-being. He dives into an optimized workout routine where each rep is meticulously calculated for maximum fitness yield. Sweat-soaked and muscles humming, Chad-GPT retreats to his infrared sauna for a session of intense visual high-tech meditation.
Here, he journeys beyond the traditional realms of visualization. His meditation skills so advanced, Chad-GPT is known to traverse through his past with his present consciousness. Equipped with extreme mental fortitude, he spends an hour a day rewriting a history of involuntary celibacy during his college days.
At high noon, Chad-GPT partakes in his final meal before his self-imposed 18-hour fast: a minimalist dish of chia seeds, ceremoniously topped with ashwagandha. But with his cognitive faculties duly stoked, he spends the remainder of the afternoon diving into the tumultuous waters of Twitter. Engaging in fierce intellectual jousting, extolling the virtues of free-market capitalism, denouncing the outdated dogma of traditional education, and robustly defending his own meticulously optimized existence from the insolent trolls who dared question it.
At precisely 5:00 pm, he logs into a virtual meeting with his life coach. Once a yogi, this fascinating man, fused of east and west is a one-stop-shop for personal growth. Together, they navigate the choppy seas of Chad-GPT’s existential crisis, the root of which revolved around his lowering week over week Twitter impressions.
With the sun making its descent, Chad concludes his day. His AI-powered chair eases him into a reclining position. His smart home system bathes the room in a warm, calming light. And he drifts off to another hyper-optimized slumber. After all, a new day brimming with more productivity hacks and intellectual duels on Twitter awaited him at the ungodly hour of 4:32 am tomorrow.
